Thoughts on BSD

The University of Calgary Students' Union hosts Bermuda Shorts Day or most commonly called BSD which is an annual gathering, or more appropriately, party, that is held on school grounds on the last day of classes. Yesterday, some of my younger friends were just letting me know how awesome the whole day was. And I know they were having an awesome time. I've been there, I've done that.

It's a great time to be had by everyone and everyone just lets loose...some get a little too far. I still remember incidents of people being escorted out by Campus Security, people so drunk they couldn't even walk back to Rez (dorms), and even people who had to be taken to the hospital to have their stomach's pumped.

But never have I heard of or encountered a tragedy such as what's happened this year. The stabbing of five students at a BSD after party was surprising to say the least, let alone finding out that the suspect is the son of a Calgary Police Officer and a prospective law school student at the U of C.

Many people have questioned whether BSD in itself is a good idea to have. I personally think that it's a great way for people to let out their inhibitions, in a safe and secure environment and during the day. What happens after BSD is a different story, and of course isn't something that the SU or the University can control. And regardless of whether or not the SU hosts BSD, people will still take it upon themselves to host parties, go out and celebrate the year that they've just completed before going off to their own little parts of the world for the summer.

The University of Calgary Students’ Union hosts Bermuda Shorts Day or most commonly called BSD which is an annual gathering, or more appropriately, party, that is held on school grounds on the last day of classes. Yesterday, some of my younger friends were just letting me know how awesome the whole day was. And I know they were having an awesome time. I’ve been there, I’ve done that.

It’s a great time to be had by everyone and everyone just lets loose…some get a little too far. I still remember incidents of people being escorted out by Campus Security, people so drunk they couldn’t even walk back to Rez (dorms), and even people who had to be taken to the hospital to have their stomach’s pumped.

But never have I heard of or encountered a tragedy such as what’s happened this year. The stabbing of five students at a BSD after party was surprising to say the least, let alone finding out that the suspect is the son of a Calgary Police Officer and a prospective law school student at the U of C.

Many people have questioned whether BSD in itself is a good idea to have. I personally think that it’s a great way for people to let out their inhibitions, in a safe and secure environment and during the day. What happens after BSD is a different story, and of course isn’t something that the SU or the University can control. And regardless of whether or not the SU hosts BSD, people will still take it upon themselves to host parties, go out and celebrate the year that they’ve just completed before going off to their own little parts of the world for the summer.

This event was devastating - and my thoughts go out to the family and friends of the victims, as well as the many other student’s I’m sure each of them have left an impact on. 

"Straight Thin, but Gay Fat."

This picture, a still from the television show American Dad, is a great way to explain how I feel when I "traverse" from the straight world to the gay world. Most people would probably disagree with me and say that there isn't a difference, and that we live in one world, etc, etc. But I disagree. 

As a young gay man, I often find myself in situations where I am surrounded by strictly straight people, and at other times, strictly surrounded by gay people. And this isn't a bad thing, not at all. But I do find that each group has different standards. My friends, straight ones, will always tell me, oh you're such a catch, you're smart, funny, mature, good-looking, etc. (I relish that last one). And I thank them for their compliments, but I am only a really great catch in the straight world. If I were straight, I'd easily be in a relationship with a young woman, who is as mature, and smart and funny as I am. But I'm not straight.

In the gay world, my kind of funny is dull. There is an abundance of funny people in the gay world, mostly because they are so free to do or say what they'd like, almost to the point where there is no filter, hence laughter mostly likely ensues. In the gay world, I'm barely funny, maybe not even a little bit. 

In terms of being smart? Well, that's not always at the top of the pyramid of things you look for in a gay guy. It may be for some, but I find that gay guys are typically, and I'm generalizing here, so I apologize in advance, but I do think that we lean towards superficial tendencies. The hotter and the younger you are, the more points you hold over others as a gay man. Again, as the above picture says, "I'm straight thin, but I'm gay fat". It resonates.

And so a few weekends ago, Calgary celebrated Pride. It was great, lots of fanfare; both the Mayor and the Premier of Alberta joined the festivities and was probably the biggest pride event in Calgary yet. During this time, I found myself immersed more so in the gay world, than any other day or weekend of the year, and I have never felt my confidence drop so low. 

I'm in my mid twenties, but never felt so much older. I have a budding career, but never felt so inadequate. I'm sorry I'm not 20 anymore, and that I don't have 0% body fat, and that I don't work at Zara. It's ridiculous. And what was even more ridiculous was the fact that I let myself feel the way that I did. 

For now, I am moving past that, and pushing ahead...I have dreams and I want to achieve them. Who cares if these gay guys consider me less of a catch...well I do...but I can't help it. Maybe one day, I'll find someone who isn't looking for a young 20 yr old to have sex with, and actually be looking for a meaningful relationship. When that will be, who knows...